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How to answer the "Do I have a daddy/mommy?" question
Posted: 11 September 2009 07:24 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  10
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How did you address the “Do I have a daddy/mommy?” question? Did you speak to your child about it before he or she asked? Or, if your child inquired first, how did you respond?

Adoptive Families Web Editor

Posted: 08 October 2009 03:21 AM   Ignore ]  
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Hi!  I’m a single adoptive mom. My son is 3yrs old now and he recently made a statement about this: “I don’t have a daddy.”  I simply replied, “No, you don’t but you have Papa [my Dad] and Tio [uncle in Spanish, my brother] who help you be brave & strong like a big boy, right?”  He said “Yeah.”  He’s also made comments like “I want a daddy.”  To which I say “I know you do, maybe one day.”  smile  It’s so important to have good, positive male role models in the lives of children raised by a single parents.. men who display characteristics that you would desire your child to see/admire in a father figure. smile  I say, the best policy… is to give as simple of an answer as is appropriate for the child’s age.. no need to go into detail on things too early when they don’t understand the details/intricacies of a single parent family.

Posted: 16 October 2009 03:10 AM   Ignore ]  
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My son asks if we can get a Daddy sometimes.  I tell him that our family is a Mommy, a little boy and 2 kitties!  And that all families are different and point out the various combinations of families.

Posted: 07 February 2010 06:33 AM   Ignore ]  
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My son recently had a project in class where he had to draw a picture of his family.  He drew me (his mother) and himself, along with our two dogs.  To my surprise he also included our extended family!  I used this opportunity to talk about families and the different types of families (i.e. some families have two parents and some have one, etc.).  I have to admit that the first time he said “I don’t have a daddy” my heart just sank.  After a few seconds of feeling helpless, I remembered that we are still a family and quickly turned what he thought was negative into very positive statements about embracing differences.  I also make sure that he does have positive male role models, and I do believe that “it takes a village to raise a child”.

Posted: 11 May 2010 04:59 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  3
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I am a single mother and what “GuateMami06” wrote is almost identical to my family. I actually just overheard my 8 yr old daughter in the car this am telling the 4 yr old son that actually everyone has a dad, that Jesus is everyone’s dad. My daughter started noticing when she was 2 that other children were picked up from daycare by fathers sometimes and this is when the questioning and states started.Sometimes I feel guilty that they don’t have a father, but I know they are loved.

 
 
 
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