Can you relate to these emotions or to the ones I experienced after my adoption fell apart? Absolutely, unfortunately. We had 2 adoptions fall through that were hard, then we had 2 that were REALLY hard to total 4, count them, 4 fall-throughs/mis-matches in our 22 months of domestic adoption efforts. The last one was the worst, where we drove from KS to PA and were at the hospital when the baby was born, the agency, facilitator, birthparents and the hospital all played roles in this devestating loss for us. We drove the 16 hours home absolutely grief stricken and shocked. We took 2 days off and then just sucked it up and went back to work. It was the worst thing we’ve ever experienced in our marriage. BUT, we got up each day, we toughed it out and a short 2 months later, we had a new agency, a renewed homestudy and a BABY!!!! Sophia came to us and we have been blessed ever since! She is now 10 months old.
Do you have any tips to others who are currently going through a failed adoption? Tips? Push yourself to go through the motions of going to work, eating dinner, sleeping and eventually, it will all get better. Go to the spa, take a weekend vacation, eat chocolate, whatever it takes to survive! It was also so helpful that our family removed all the baby stuff from the room before we got home so we didn’t have to look at it. AND it helped that our pastor spent time with us counseling… AND, our friends knew to just leave us alone and we’d talk about it when we were ready. We are blessed with phenomenal friends. My MIL was the worst to deal with though… ugh. My final tip (since I’m an expert) is pray for the birthmother out there somewhere, pray for your unknown baby/child you’re adopting that they are healthy, and that they’ll find their way to you. Best wishes friends!!!