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How hard is this?!?
Posted: 09 April 2010 02:33 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  4

When our children arrived, they were 16 months, 5 and 7.  We were the fifth home for each of them - they always moved together, and they were always moved for reasons related to child maltreatment.  It took 2 years to get to the point where our oldest wasn’t have rageful fits and being aggressive with us.  Her main triggers were unpredictability, feeling “caught” doing something that she shouldn’t be doing, feeling like someone was attacking her (a peer splashing her, for example), and antagonism between siblings or peers—I suppose all fear based.  We worked so hard to help her feel safe and to develop a relationship with her (we even home schooled with a private tutor).  We have had a major shift and she’s doing soooo well.  About 1 month into her doing so well, her younger sister started having the same rages.  Up until then, she had maybe one rageful fit a year.  Now, it’s multiple times a week.  It’s much more violent and mean than anything her sister would have ever done.  She has caused a lot of property damange and physical damange to parents and herself.  Her intensive therapy started about a month ago.  This is just so hard and I’m running out of steam.  We can’t make a living because we have to be ready to come home or not leave home, or separate children, or whatever.  Anyone else out there suffering like us?

Posted: 13 April 2010 11:17 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  5

I don’t have this experience but wanted to encourage you that you have had success with the older child and should use this as encouragement that things should get better with the second.  I can’t imagine how exhausting and worrying it must be, but I so admire your commitment to these children who have had such a hard start in life.  It’s possible that she is afraid of becoming too comfortable and getting rejected so she is rejecting you first…I have heard that kids can act up a year or more later, just when you assume that the adjusting is all over.  Just want to say that you are doing a phenomenal job being there for them and seeking the help they/you need.