Sign In to Add a Forum Post

NOTE: These forums exist for archival purposes only.
Please post any new, active discussion topics to the most appropriate corresponding adoption group

 
 
Wrestling with a restless child?
Posted: 14 March 2010 04:06 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  32
Rank

In writing for AFC, I’ve been asked to provide a discussion question for readers to respond to my post.  Honestly, I don’t really have a question but I wanted to direct my blog post to a place where others could chime in and ask a question or offer some feedback. After sharing Anna’s behavior concerns, I am petrified that I am truly as alone as I feel that I am.  Truthfully, I don’t even know if I am putting this in the right discussion forum because this isn’t about discipline, it’s just about Anna and how she’s wired internally.  Sometimes I fear that other people will think her adoption plays a role in her behavior and that she is in some way damaged by the process.  A lot of kids have behavior problems and maybe I’m being overly sensitive to the way she will be viewed in light of also being adopted.  It certainly does magnify the concerns I have.

Posted: 14 March 2010 07:20 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  22
Rank

You are not alone—but you are right, almost everyone does not understand.

I’m glad you chose to share.  Even a little.  But I’d encourage you to share a lot, I think it will help to network a little.  I know a few bloggers with SPD/autism (this is what you’re talking about here, right?  Have you received a dx?) issues and as we have worked to find out what’s up with our son, it has helped to see what others are going through.  One in particular that I read sounds a lot like your little girl. 

We do not have violence (well, to others) issues here.  We had/have things like pinching, eye poking, finger twisting, extreme tantrums, extreme fears (esp of public places or grooming) and massive meltdowns (when you described leaving I had to nod and nod.  Oh my, how many places we’ve left because he would be screaming and clawing at me and poking himself in the eyes, and OH MY how people STARE!).  We also had (have?) some pretty severe food related issues.  While I know it’s not the same…it’s the same vein, and it’s HARD.  It really is….esp if you don’t know any/many people with these type of issues.  We were “lucky” enough to have cousins in each of our families with similar problems so we did not feel as alone.

We have been helped EXTREMELY by changes in diet (along with some medication for severe reflux, which was “silent” aka…no one listened to me for the longest time as he went from healthy to FTT) and Early Intervention.  We go weekly to therapy and it has helped him a lot. I’m interested to hear more about what you guys are doing….it’s a hard road to follow.  I wish you the best, Jenna!

Posted: 25 March 2010 03:09 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
Rank

I don’t believe that all adopted childrens’ behavior problems can be attributed to being adopted. I adopted my son as an infant and he was absolutely an amazing, happy baby, toddler and preschooler. However, at around age 4, he started showing a temper at being told “no”. He threw tantrums like I had never seen with my other 3 children, even his adopted sibling who I expected would be the ones with the behavior issues. He is now 9 years old, and while very compliant at school, he still tends to have a huge temper when he doesn’t get his way. I do remember his birth mother was diagnosed with several anger management type problems, so I’m going to guess that it can be somewhat inherited. I don’t believe the fact that he was adopted has actually anything to do with his personality and lack of impulse control.