Deciding which adoption agency to use can be challenging—you want to make sure the agency is trustworthy and understanding of your needs. How many agencies did you check out before selecting one? What specifically made you choose it? Did you immediately feel like it was the right one or did you deliberate over your decision?

Unfortunately, we live in a remote place with a small population base, so there is only one choice here.  Thankfully, they have been wonderful!  They are sensitive to our feelings and our wishes and they are very proactive and up-front about everything going on with our adoption.  I hope everyone else is just as fortunate!

We researched several agencies online.  A friend of ours had used one of the agencies and had loved them.  We ultimately kept coming back to them.  They had an information meeting within a couple of weeks of our research, so we attended and fell in love with them.  They were ethical, realistic, and caring. 

If/when we adopt again, though, I’m not sure we will use them.  They have had a tremendous staff turnover (due to the economy) and do not feel the connection we did with them as before.  They also do not do domestic adoptions, and that might be what choose.

But, would I recommend them?  In a heartbeat!

I did some online research and was very nervous about a lot of the agencies.  Then, I read about the one we used, Open Adoption & Family Services, and I literally breathed a sigh of relief.  They were so much more open minded.  I knew that it didn’t matter that we were Jewish.  I also felt very comfortable because they place with lots of same sex couples and I think that’s awesome.  They are very open to lots of situations.  Our counselor was fantastic.  I think it’s something that you just have to feel.  Sometimes, that means just reading, other times, it means talking to people.  I would say gut instincts and word of mouth are the best bets.

We did research online.  As we were starting our search we asked friends, both IRL and on message boards for their experiences.  When you decide to start the process you learn that many people have been touched by adoption in some form or fashion, and usually are willing to share their (or their friend, sister, brother, cousin, etc, ‘s experience).  The ones we ultimately went with we had heard about through a friend of mine on a message board.  When we contacted them and spoke with them, it just “felt” right for us and for our situation.  We knew it was meant to be.

We are just submitting our formal application to our chosen agency after 3 full months of research.

We have been to three different information sessions with three different agencies and have been doing a lot of online research. 

What made our decision on this chosen agency:

1)  They only work with 30-35 couples at one time.  (Another very highly regarded agency in our state that has been around for 80 years works with 100 couples at one time).  We feel we will get the most personalized and attentive care with our chosen agency.

2)  Program & Placement fees - the agency we have chosen bases their placement fee on a sliding scale.  Their program fee is also $6000 less than the above-mentioned highly regarded agency in our state which we believe is only because our agency does not advertise on t.v.)

3) Their information session felt comfortable and welcoming.  It was kind of like the the “3 little bears” - this agency feels “just right” to us - not too big and not too small.  The first agency we saw had us all in a cramped room and then later we found out doing more research that they were very understaffed and were loosing paperwork etc.  The last agency was too big (handled 100 couples at 1 time) and seemed a bit pretentious.

Many people would ask us why all the research - why not just go to the most popular agency - well see all three comments above… research is key!

We researched and took referrals from successful adoptive families and still ended up with a bad agency. My suggestion is to go with your gut. What social worker do you connect to? Do you think that person will handle your potential birthmother with kindness and honesty? Also, what can you afford? How does that agency operate? Do they call you back within 24 hours? Etc. We found our second and final agency through a family referral and we renewed our homestudy with the social worker. The few hours with her led us to the conclusion we liked her and trusted her with our pending match.

Choosing Bethany was easy…....A girlfriend of mines that I am really close to just went through an adoption when my husband and I started to consider doing it.

HELLO EVERYONE!

I AM NEW TO AFC AND I JUST CAME ACROSS YOUR FORUM AND WOULD LIKE SOME FEED BACK IF POSSIBLE.

I AM 41 AND SINGLE.(I LOOK YOUNG FOR MY AGE)I AM FINANCIALLY SECURE AND I AM HOME STUDY APPROVED.I OWN MY OWN BUSINESS AND MY OWN 3+BR/2BA 3000 SQ FT HOME .

WHEN I HAVE CALLED AGENCIES I GET “SORRY WE DON’T WORK WITH SINGLES” AND ONE EVEN HUNG UP ON ME WHEN I ASKED WHY?

I WENT TO AN AGENCY AND THE CASE MANAGER WAS VERY NICE AND SAID IF I WAS OPEN TO DIFFERENT SITUATIONS (BI RACIAL,MILD DRUG USE,MENTAL…)IT WOULD NOT BE SUCH A LONG WAIT. SHE EMAILED THE MAIN OFFICE AND WHEN I TOLD HER I WAS SINGLE AND SHE TYPED IT TO THE MAIN OFFICE ,SHE GOT AN EMAIL/PHONE CALL THAT SAID IT WOULD BE A LOOOOONG WAIT! LIKE 1 TO 2 YRS! SHE SAID WE ALSO CHARGE 20 TO 30,000.

OK! I OWN A BUSINESS AND I TELL STAFF NEVER TO ASSUME…MY SOCIAL WORKER SAID I AM A PERFECT CANDIDATE TO ADOPT. HE TOLD ME I WAS A REMARKABLE WOMAN AND MET ALL HIS REQUIREMENTS WITH FLYING COLORS!

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO ? I AM JUST NETWORKING WITH MY CLIENTS (I OWN A SALON) AND HAVE A FEW CLIENTS WHO ARE OB/GYNS AND P.A’S WHO ARE EAGER TO HELP THE BEST THEY CAN.

I LIVE IN FLORIDA AND IF ANYONE KNOWS OF SOMEONE OR CAN RECOMMEND SOMEONE I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT.

THANK YOU
SHELBY

Shelby, 1-2 years is pretty normal. We were quoted 2-3 and we are pretty standard folks. 20-30,000 is pretty normal too. I know that some of the bigger agencies work in Florida and with singles. I think you just need to do a lot more research, no offense. We are in NY and using a lawyer not an agency so I don’t know more about agencies. Good luck.

Thank you for your comment babydream! I know the time frame and money were the normal range and i do not have an issue with either but at first she said it would be 6mo if i was not so particular then she changed her story when i told her i was single.

I was just wondering if anyone knew of someone who didn’t mind a single successful female looking to give a child a wonderful life.

I am getting the feeling the large agencies really dont want to work with single people…They say they do but none i have spoken to really make you feel welcome. Money is not the issue either for me.

I am using an attny and that might be the way to go.  Check out Ellen Kaplan in the Tampa area or The Adoption Center (Alice Murray) in the Pensacola area.  We really like both of them and they are both pro adoptive family… I have received two calls in 6 weeks from Ellen regarding birth moms but we had to say no because the price was too high but it might work for you.

Good Luck!

looking to adopt,

I have been in contact with American Adoptions. My husband and I are currently in search for an agency that is right for us. Although I’m married, i wanted to let you know about them. They seem absolutely amazing. And, i’m pretty sure my husband and I will be leaning toward adoption through their agency. We’ve been reviewing and researching agencies for 3 months now and we’re ready to make a decision.

Check them out!

Good luck and congrats on your decision to adopt!

We did a lot of research online and asking for references from people who were in the process and/or had already completed adoptions.  My husband’s co-worker’s daughter had completed 2 adoptions through the agency, and one day I talked to her for about an hour about her experiences.  At that point, our minds were pretty much made up.

We liked that everyone we talked to from the agency—from the inquiry person to the potential case manager—was friendly, prompted in returning phone calls and emails, and upfront with everything.  All the fees were stated before signing a contract, including estimates for travel and in-country expenses. 

The agency also was accredited and does humanitarian projects (not just adoptions) in their countries.  (Yes, I know that’s a requirement for some countries in order to operate adoption agencies in their countries.)

We were not disappointed with our choice and actually just completed our second adoption with our agency.

I’m living in San Francisco and just starting on this path.  I am single and have been told that that may lengthen my wait.  I’m interested in any referrals for agencies and attorneys who seem enthusiastic aboout working with a single parent. Any recommendations would be much appreciated.

Hi Looking2adopt and jennyB

I, too, am single and am currently waiting for a match.  I have found a huge amount of support and info as a member of single mothers by choice.  You may want to check out the website singlemothersbychoice.com and join the email groups. 

Good luck!