We had to do an update, because we waited longer than a year. We had two disappointments as well, and the feeling that we were being passed by. Of course, in the end, we were chosen to parent our amazing, perfect child.
It certainly was frustrating to go through all the background checks that had expired, but we had actually anticipated having to do an update. Our understanding of Texas law is that the initial home study is only valid for 6 months, then must be updated within 30 days of placement, with an in-home visit with all family members. It’s a crazy system!
Have you looked into http://www.MyAdoptionAdvisor.com? You don’t need to just sit back and wait, there are some great, quick, effective ways you can network for yourself, and Hal Kaufman can walk you through them.