In my recent blog post, TMI, I write my fears that my daughter’s birth family could be posting information about her in the internet without my consent.  In what ways do you see the internet as having helped or hindered your journey to be a parent?  Do you think web sites and message boards are imprinting into history a record of your struggles, concerns, and hopes?

The internet has definitely helped us become parents.  From finding our fertility specialist (our OBGYN insisted that we were young and needed to give it time, but hey, with our family history a year at age 20-21 seemed more like “should be pg or something’s wrong” lol….) and adoption agency, to researching treatment and how to pay for that treatment, to networking with friends and family (including our child’s bio family after match), the internet has been key.

Of course, as you know, my blogs are long ago turned private.  But I post pictures etc on FB and our daughter’s bio family is welcome to do the same.  They share pictures and stories in other forms, so I’m not averse to them sharing online, though I believe they mostly share on our family blog.  I have found her sister (who doens’t know about her) and her (sister’s) mother online and have contact info for them because of the internet.

I would LIKE for our blogs to still be public, however, I, like you I believe, just felt it was too open for someone else’s story (our children and our daughter’s bio family).  It’s different when it’s US, but when we’re making those decisions for others, I had to draw the line.  I have all my FB setting pretty well privatized, too.

Hi.  That is a delicate situation.  Is it possible the birth mother would understand your feelings on this subject?  It seems that you are in a position of sharing information with her based on how responsible she reacts with it.  If she keeps the pictures and videos private as she should- you will surely be more trusting of her and continue to share these things.  If she acts irresponsibly and doesn’t respect your wishes the result would be less information coming her way.