In my blog, http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/blogs/not_a_happy_new_mother/my_paperwork_pregnancies, I share my personal experience with Post Adoption Depression.  Even though it happened over 7 years ago I can still recall how upset I was that I didn’t feel the way I thought I should.

Do any of you have similar stories?  Do any of you warn prospective adoptive parents that the bonding isn’t always “instant” like in the movies?

Danielle, I am amazed that you just described the way I was feeling…  I had such guilt over being able to take my beautiful son home, while his birthmother and her family were grieving so deeply.  The feeling of “stealing” him and “being happy while others were so sad” really weighed heavily on me.  It was a very lonely feeling—how I wish I knew that I wasn’t the only one!  Thank you so much for posting that.

I can’t even begin to imagine the emotions that must be running wild during this time.  I was recently matched with a birthmother and she is due in July.  We are very excited. 

I am so sorry that you went through depression.  I hope you are doing much better now.  My only thoughts are that the birthparents chose you because they knew that you would provide a loving home for their child.  They wanted you to provide the baby with laughter and smiles.  This is a very courageous decision on their part.  Therefore, please don’t feel like a “thief”.  The next time you think or feel that way, just think about how the birthparents would like you to be.  If you are happy and creating a wonderful environment for the baby, the birthparents will feel more secure in that they made the right decision.  For you are able to provide the baby with a great home, family, and friends. 

Remember, everything happens for a reason.  You should feel good about being able to provide a great life for a baby.  You should also feel good about being able to answer the birthparents’ prayers.  Keep in mind, they wanted to ensure the best life for the child.

Best wishes to you.   

Congrats WishfulThinkin on your pending adoption!  that is SO exciting!  (((HUGS!)))  Can’t wait to hear more about your process!

:D

There is a great book on this called Post Adoption Blues by Foli
I am surprised the possibility wasn’t discussed is pre or post adoption work with social worker. It isnot unusual and we even told moms back in the 70s this might happen
Regina