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Who is in Your Family?
Posted: 08 December 2009 10:29 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  32

In my recent blog, The Importance of Family, I share the significance of Anna’s birth sibling and relate how important the adoptive parents are in our lives.  Much talk is given to maintaining the relationships between the first parents and the adopted child, but where do you see the extension of birth siblings in that conversation?  Do you feel that adopted children should have “openness” to those siblings or does that right stop at the biological parents?

Posted: 09 December 2009 04:44 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  22

I love this post, and it makes me want you to share more about your adoption’s specifics.  Hint…....hint….......hint?

The last paragraph is really a good one, and it’s pretty much how I feel about Ava’s bio mom.  I feel like she was there for ME through the NICU stay and she was there for me as I navigated new motherhood, and also as I went through my first pregnancy with our son.  It started, like you said, for the kids, for her maybe, because it was “the right thing to do” but in the end, unlikely as it would have been otherwise maybe (we have both circumstantial and age gaps that are pretty large, after all) we are friends, and we are definitely, definitely family.

I, like you, don’t consider them AVA’S family, but MY family as well.  And the gift of watching Ava and her bio brother play together, of watching my bio son fit in with them….it’s fabulously rewarding on so many levels.

Makes me sad, sad indeed that we don’t have the same situation with bio dad and his three kids.  But…at least we have minimal contact with the boys and I know HOW to get ahold of the girl if need be….we do what we can, and that’s all we can do.  Hopefully I mean all of us, but sadly I really just plain don’t have the answer to that.

I have done a LOT to maintain some level of contact with bio dad and his kids….and have dug and carefully asked questions about the daughter (who is raised by her mother and therefore harder to keep track of) so that I can at least have that link AVAILABLE for Ava if she chooses to pursue it.  I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to go about not caring if I step on bio dad’s toes on that one, but…..there are his boys to consider, too.  Oy vey!

You know…it’s funny that you say that “as a sister” you value the relationship extra and are happy to be able to give Anna that opportunity, because for me, it’s the lack of sister or brother that really solidified the need for my child(ren) to know of any siblings they may have.  It’s interesting and good to hear that from the other side of things.