Adoptive FamiliesenCopyright 20132013-10-28T07:31:52-05:00Responding to Comments: Tact or Smack?
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/131/#When:18:00:15Z<p>In my recent blog, <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adoptivefamiliescircle.com%2Fblogs%2Fpost%2Fwhos_the_lucky_one%2F">Who’s the Lucky One?</a><br />
I discuss some comments which often rub me the wrong way but do not seem to phase my friends who have a traditional biological family. These comments are not solely directed to adoptive parents and yet they seem to have a particular sting to them as someone who might be protective of an adoptive relationship. What sorts of comments do you hear that you find are a bit more sensitive because of your family building method? How do you handle those situations? Do you use humor? Are you openly offended? Do you have a pat response that you go to in time of need?
</p>2010-01-22T18:00:15-05:00keeping families together
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/39/#When:16:48:49Z<p>Isn’t it better to support families in staying together rather than damaging them irrevocably by adopting their children?
</p>2009-10-05T16:48:49-05:00How do you decide?
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/370/#When:23:23:17Z<p>I am just starting out in my journey of adoption and I am reading the book by this magazine and so I know the different routes. Each day/ moment I am 100% sure of which path I want to be on unfortunatly that changes every other day/moment to. Sometimes I want to help a child who really needs me in foster care and the next day I want an infant from a hand-picked birth mother. I keep reading that what is ment to be happens and every family turns out happy but I am not content to wait for fate to have its way with me. I want to stand up, take charge and start a process but which one…. with who… How do I decide?
</p>2011-03-01T23:23:17-05:00How are you budgeting for your adoption?
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/12/#When:11:16:46Z<p>Money is tight for everyone, these days. What are some creative ways you saved/are saving for your adoption?
</p>2009-09-11T11:16:46-05:00When In laws are mean to your adoptive child and reject him and or her.
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/120/#When:14:45:39Z<p>Please someone give me some advice on how to deal with in-laws who totally reject adoption. My brother in law/Chuck and his Wife/Jen and my mother in law/Charlene all reject my son because he was adopted. My brother in law has 4 biological girls/Kaylee 4, Nicole/3 and twin girls Samantha/Amelia. They all say how the girls look like all of them and how wonderful they are. Yet, they totally reject my son. They refuse visits/phone calls and gift giving and cards. They have also convinced my husband Jay/ that we should not adopt any more children.</p>
<p>I am very sad about all of this….....Can someone give me some advice?</p>
</p>2010-01-01T14:45:39-05:00Happiness to heartbreak
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/245/#When:04:59:17Z<p>In November of 2009 my husband met a young lady that did not want her baby. The baby was due in the summer of 2010. For the next 8 months we talked to her regularly. Had lunch with her and her son and got to know her. As the time went by we began meeting with the lawyers and completing the homestudy. All the while I tried to get the Bmom to go to a counselor or see the attorneys, to get support. She declined and insisted she would not change her mind because she did not want ‘it’. In March we found out that the baby was a girl and decided to name her Camilla. In May my friends had a baby shower for me and on June 17th we headed to the hospital so the bmom could be induced. By this time we had become friends with the bmom and were the only support she had. None of her family came to the hospital to support her. I stayed with her in the room until the baby was born! For the next day and a half my husband and I stayed with her in the hospital while taking care of the baby in our room. The bmom insisted she did not want to see the baby. On saturday the bmom was discharged, then on sunday we were discharged with our new bundle of joy! We were beyond excited. We were never so happy to be deprived of sleep and changing stinky diapers. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for nearly 10 years. </p>
<p>On monday the bmom began texting us and telling us she couldn’t do it it was too hard, she needed to see the baby. Of course we let her see the baby, and tried to get her support. This continued for the next 2 days and by day 3 the bmom came to our house and took Camilla from us. I screamed like I have never screamed before, I felt pain like I never felt before. She was gone and I felt that I was too. So now I stay up all hours of the night until I can’t stay awake anymore, just so I will fall straight to sleep and not spend hours crying and thinking of her. She was mine for 5 days, the best days of my life. I am not whole without her. </p>
<p>How do I go on? Well, I am trying. Keeping myself busy, and talking to friends. I will go on but, she was mine for 5 days, she wasn’t just an imagined dream, she was here and she was real. I know her smell and her smile. I know her cry and I love her cry. She was real to me.
</p>2010-07-09T04:59:17-05:00How did you tell your friends and family?
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/124/#When:17:51:41Z<p>My husband and I are considering adoption. We’re in our 30s with no bio kids (never tried), our parents live in other states and his siblings with children also live elsewhere (and none of them live in the same state, so there’s no time when everyone’s in one place). I can’t seem to imagine calling my mom on the phone and telling her “hey mom, how’s the weather? Really, that’s great. By the way, we just started the process to become adoptive parents. And we’re adopting an older child, not a baby. So, how’s work” You know? And then there’s co workers and friends..I’ve never been a particularly outspoken let me tell you all about my whole life kind of person and find the whole telling the world thing a little intimidating. I have read the homesteady includes letters from friends and family, so obviously we will need to tell people while we are in that stage (I’d rather wait for some until we have a potential match, partly just to avoid the questions if it’s a while before there is a match).</p>
<p>I mean, there’s so many fun ways to announce a pregnancy, like “worlds best grandparent” shirts as gifts and such. Anyone have any great ones for prosective adoptive parents that wouldn’t lead to people automatically assuming there’s a pregnancy?
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/182/#When:18:28:51Z<p>Most of you have probably heard the heartbreaking story about the seven-year-old boy who was sent alone on a plane back to Russia by his U.S. adoptive parents. Understandably, there is currently a high level of media interest about adoption disruption. If your family has either disrupted an adoption or adopted a child from a disrupted adoption, and you are willing to speak with a New York Times reporter, please send us your name, telephone number, and e-mail address using the form you’ll find at <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adoptivefamilies.com%2Fpolls%2F85">http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/polls/85</a>.
</p>2010-04-12T18:28:51-05:00Just wanting advice on adopting
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/333/#When:02:01:26Z<p>Hi! My husband and I are just looking into the adoption process. I am 31yo stay-at-home mom and my husband is 34yo Senior Pastor. We have a gorgeous 5yo son. We also have a daughter, Oakleigh, who would have been 8 this year and is our angel in Heaven. I have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), incompetent cervix and Endometriosis. We struggled to conceive both of our children and have been unsuccessful, over the past few years, in conceiving. I am getting very discouraged when looking up adoption information due to the amazingly high cost of adoption. Just wondering if anyone has had any luck with grants or anything that might assist with adoption costs. Also, we live in Indiana and I’m wondering about the best agency to get started with. Any type of information, advice or help would be greatly appreciated. We are a very loving and happy family and would love to add another member into our lives. Thanks and God bless!!
</p>2011-01-08T02:01:26-05:00Help Understanding the Adoption Tax Credit
http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/forums/viewthread/339/#When:14:18:27Z<p><i>Adoptive Families</i> magazine has a helpful article on the <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adoptivefamilies.com%2Farticles.php%3Faid%3D2126" target="blanK">Adoption Tax Credit</a> with information on who is eligible for the adoption tax credit and how much you might be able to claim on your taxes this season. The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Jackson Hewitt have partnered to help adoptive families understand the Adoption Tax Credit, presenting tax tips from the professionals in this <br />
<a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeQryETwRziA" target="blank">video produced by Jackson Hewitt</a> . </p>
<p>Jackson Hewitt is also offering a coupon for $25 off tax preparation services. For every coupon redeemed, Jackson Hewitt will make a donation to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Download your <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.davethomasfoundation.org%2FHome" target="blank">printable coupon.</a></p>
<p>And for the latest updates on the Adoption Tax Credit and</p>
<p>Danielle Pennel<br />
AFC Community Moderator