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Share your memorable mother-child scenes!
AF Cover Photo Contest
Your most stunning shot could appear on our cover!
First Family Photos Contest
Meet the winner, Maleigha (18 mos., U.S.), and the finalists.
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Meet the winner, Calvin (18 mos., Korea), and the finalists.
Adoption Blog: Fostering Love
Why My Family Decided to Adopt from Foster Care
Filed Under: Foster Adoption
When I was a teenager, a family friend described to me the love and the joy that he felt when his parents adopted his younger brother from Vietnam. Ever since that conversation, I knew that I wanted to experience that same kind of joy when I started my own family.
My husband and I agreed, before we were even engaged to be married, that our family would grow through adoption. After we were married and we started thinking about having children, we knew that it was time to consider all of our options and decide what kind of adoption would be best for us. We considered international adoption, private domestic adoption, and adoption through the U.S. foster care system.
My husband and I read several books about the different types of adoption and spent countless hours researching on the Internet, to make an informed decision. From The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption to the websites of dozens of adoption agencies, we discussed and detailed our findings, ultimately putting everything into a chart that presented the pros and cons of each type of adoption.
We considered factors such as the likely health of the child, the average cost of adoption, what kinds of risks we would be taking during the adoption process (such as a birthmom changing her mind), and whether an open adoption was possible. In the end, we decided that adopting through the U.S. foster care system was the best fit for us.
Every child deserves a forever home, and my husband and I wanted to help a child who had been given an especially rough start in life. Children enter the foster care system for many different reasons, and sometimes those reasons have dramatically impacted the child's health and/or development. My husband and I learned that, as potential adoptive parents, we could set boundaries as to what kinds of health concerns or developmental delays we would be willing to help a child deal with or overcome. The U.S. foster care system wants to find the best family for each child, and we felt good knowing that we would receive all of the medical, social, and family history information that was available about any potential adoptive matches.
Cost was an important factor in our decision, too. Unlike international adoption or private domestic adoption, when you adopt through the U.S. foster care system, there are no court fees, fees for your homestudy, or other fees to pay an agency. In our state, the adopted child even gets free in-state college tuition.
One year after pursuing approval to become adoptive parents through the foster system, we decided to become foster parents, as well. Ultimately, we realized that becoming foster parents would open the door to more adoptive matches, as the child's foster parents are the first people considered for adoption if the foster child has no suitable relatives.
We have currently been waiting more than four years to add to our family through adoption. Right now, we're waiting to find out whether the children we're fostering will become available for adoption or if the court will grant their mother more opportunities to complete her case plan. Waiting to adopt through the U.S. foster care system has been a long, slow process but I still believe that my husband and I made the right choice for our family.
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6 Comments
Thanks for sharing your story! I hope and pray your wait to be parents won’t be too long!
Carol Lozier
http://www.forever-families.com
We have adopted from the foster-care system and are in the process of doing so again. There are so many deserving children who want what every child wants/needs: a permanent home and someone to love them as only a parent can. We did not have to wait long at all because we were not focusing on infants/toddlers; our twins came to us at the age of 7, and our new sons are 15 and 17—in each case, we were finalizing the adoption after a a mere six-month waiting period.
Thank you for your story! And thank you for your decision! US Foster adoption wasn’t the right fit for our family but sooooo many people make us feel bad about that that I didn’t even want to read your post…. but I’m glad I did and again a huge thanks to you!
Thanks for a good article! We’ve also adopted from our state’s foster care system and hope to do so again. But I’m wondering what state you live in that pays for in-state college tuition? That’s wonderful!
We have adopted from foster care as well twice! Going though round #3 very soon ! We live in Texas, where our children will receive free in state college tuition as well ! We previously adopted from California, sadly they don’t provide the tuition for our kids. Good luck on your journey, we have been growing our family for over 14 yrs now, so patience is definitely required for fost to adopt!
Thank you, friends!
VintageMom, I live in Florida. I am very thankful for the free in-state college tuition. One less thing to worry about in the future!
Buddha Lady, our home study was approved for children up to 8 years old. Not sure where you live, but it seems that here in Florida there is still a bit of a wait for elementary school aged kids. If my Husband and I had more parenting experience or were a little bit older, we would have considered pre-teens or teenagers. I’m sure we would have had a shorter wait, like you experienced in your situation. We will probably consider that in the future.
paintponyscout, I’m so sorry that anyone has tried to make you feel bad about how you chose to grow your family. I doubt that those people understand everything that goes into making a decision like this. You did what was right for your family, and that’s all that matters.