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Adoption Blog: Improv Mom

What’s Your Open Adoption Truth?



You might have seen my somewhat rambling posts on the AdoptiveFamiliesCircle group boards: A call for participants to be part of a genuine, frank, and heartfelt web series about open adoption. Well, I'm very happy to report that some of you have quite a lot to say on the subject. Honestly, I wouldn't have expected anything less from this crowd.

The idea struck me after watching an episode of TLC's adoption special Birth Moms, a truly appalling show – if you've seen it, let me apologize right now for dredging up unsavory memories. It felt more like an episode of MTV's Jersey Shore, and it just might have made better TV if Snooki and JWoww had made an appearance. Suffice to say, so much for the "Learning" part in "The Learning Channel," since it did nothing to shed light on the well-entrenched myths surrounding domestic adoption and expectant mothers, or, as TLC referred to them, simply birth mothers. Oh, those alcohol-swilling, shoplifting birth mothers!

OK, deep-cleansing breath….

In response to this and other television shows that laser focus on the "will she or won't she relinquish" drama, Open Adoption Truth offers, hopefully, a more insightful look at a person's thoughts and experiences after relinquishment. (But I'm sure you'll let me know.)

Kicking off the Open Adoption Truth project is Sadie. You could call her the "triple threat" of the adoption triad since Sadie was adopted domestically in a closed adoption, is a birth mom in an open adoption, and an adoptive mom in an even more open adoption. Is it any wonder why Sadie feels that she's been an ambassador for adoption for her entire life?

I absolutely love what she has to say about Nature vs. Nurture, and that she feels very strongly that "open adoption means creating a family together" with her daughter's birth mother and birth family.

So, without further ado, here's Sadie's Open Adoption Truth:
openadoptiontruth.com/whats-your-open-adoption-story.

If you'd like to share your story, please let me know. I would be honored to hear it.


Related Posts on AdoptiveFamiliesCircle

10 Comments

Thanks, Barb, what a unique story.

I also liked what Sadie had to say about nature vs nurture: “There is something to this nature thing!” And about the differences in the way people talk about open adoption now and at the time she was a birthmother.

Thanks for sharing!

Lawrence

By Lawrence on Tuesday, November 26, 2013 at 10:15 pm.

Thanks for sharing article ....i have read many blogs on open adoption and found that people are not much happy with open adoption.

By Judith Bell on Wednesday, December 04, 2013 at 6:10 am.

I found the other site a week or so ago and was wondering about it. Now I know!

By rredhead on Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 6:41 am.

Barbara,
Like Sadie, I feel like an ambassador for open adoption. My husband Jeff was adopted in 1963 and we adopted a domestic newborn in 2010. Jeff’s adoption is closed. Our son’s is “wide” open. I wrote an article titled Nature vs. Nurture for Chicago Now blogger Carrie Goldman. You all might relate to it. My article title is “Nature vs. Nurture No More. Marvel at the mix.”

So many adoptive mothers today are tasked with enlightening others. I hope you all will read my article. I’d love your feedback. Sadie, if you see this, I LOVE your attitude and compassion. Thanks for sharing your story!

Jody Dyer

Link to article: http://www.chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption/2013/06/think-nature-vs-nurture-no-more-marvel-at-the-mix/

By Jody Cantrell Dyer on Sunday, December 08, 2013 at 3:13 pm.

Thank you all for watching and listening (and hopefully sharing) Sadie’s story. This community rocks!

I am so moved by each and every woman that I’m speaking with… and I look forward to sharing more with you soon. ~ Barbara aka Improv Mom

By Barbara Herel on Tuesday, December 17, 2013 at 3:31 pm.

Open adoption is a wonderful option.

Rami Amaro
Amaro Law Office

By Rami Amaro on Tuesday, March 11, 2014 at 2:52 am.

I believe that open adoption is the best way to help abandoned children. I adopted a Romanian child in an orphanage with closed adoption ,but
In my experience of adoption , I realized that adoptive parents should encourage their reintegration into the family of the natural parents .
Two years ago, my son and I , we went to Romania, where he was born , and with a little luck we found his natural mother .... so the story continues !

Although I understand the difficulty and desperation of a mother who abandons a child for reasons of majeure force , we must consider, however, that in reality
No condition of indigence or poverty justifies the abandonment of a child. As far as my own experience is concerned I am sure that a child would rather die of starvation or get to know that his parents are in prison, but they did not abandoned him.
If genocide is a crime against humanity, the abandonment of a child is much more, it calls into question the first ethical principle for our survival: a mother who abandons a child. Animals do not do that, or do so only if the little ones are naturally self-sufficient by birth.
It is an everlasting torture and I am sure that my son is wondering – in his own confusion – why he did not get what many people were granted.
I came to this conclusion, which may seem strong and ruthless, after the experience of the adoption of my son who has had many problems because of the trauma of abandonment. I tell his story in a book, and if you are interested I will give you the link where you can find it. I apologize for my fare english ... but I’m Italian!
- See more at: http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/topic/Reintegration_into_the_family_of_the_natural_parents/#sthash.zgeLUpD2.dpuf

By Tito on Wednesday, March 12, 2014 at 5:46 pm.

it is brave and important to tell a child that they are adopted however as soon as a child is aware then they carry that negative label with them for life, although there is no alternative.

By Mummy Bear on Friday, November 13, 2015 at 10:52 pm.

Mummy Bear are you an adoptive mom? Adopted person? What has been your personal experience?

By Barbara Herel on Monday, November 16, 2015 at 12:00 pm.

Barbara Herel thank you for sharing this excellent post also on writing essays. This share about the adoption truth is really good and impressive. This entire share about the adoptive family circles is really interesting must say that.

By EmmittHolcomb on Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 6:25 am.

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Meet the Author

Barbara Herel

Barbara Herel

New York

I have recently adopted or am adopting from...
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