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Adoption Blog: Adoption: Not Just My Profession, My Life

My Advice on Surviving the Wait

From my experience with the adoption process as an adoptive mother, I think it’s important to realize that each family’s process and journey is uniquely their own. The process has many ups and downs and can feel much like a roller coaster ride. The wait is no exception. Family and friends will try to be encouraging and will say things like “the right baby will find you”—which of course I believe, but when you are in the middle of the process those words aren’t often enough to settle the anxiety you’re feeling.

The wait wasn’t our biggest challenge during the process. That came after placement when facing a potential disruption. We have friends who had been waiting about eight months longer than we had who commented that they would rather have an even longer wait if it meant not experiencing the trials we went through post-placement. I think it just goes to show that each adoption journey must be embraced for its own unique experience. Some waiting families come from long bouts with infertility prior to choosing adoption and some do not. Some families enter the books in as little as four months and for others it takes a good bit longer. Some may wait a month and then be matched with a woman who isn’t due for five months and another couple may wait five months and have an emergency placement. Yet another couple may only wait three months but experience a disruption and disappointment in that short time while others seem to experience the longest time frame for every single step of the process.

The bottom line is that it’s about really opening yourself to the whole journey, to your experience as it will be from start to finish, fast or slow, rocky or smooth. It’s about focusing on the end goal—to be a family—and opening your lives to the paths you will travel to get to that finish. And, once you do, there is a whole other challenge called parenthood!

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Meet the Author

Kristy Hartley-Galbraith

Kristy Hartley-Galbraith


I have recently adopted or am adopting from...
U.S. Newborn, U.S. Newborn

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