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What Does Adoption Mean to You?

Posted by Maximilian's Mommy to Our Family Grows With Love 8 years, 6 months ago | 4 Comments | Post a reply

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It’s November, which means it’s National Adoption Awareness Month. What are you doing to celebrate?

In honor of this very important month, I talked to several people whose lives have been touched by adoption. I asked all of them the same question: “What does adoption mean to you?” Here, in their own words, are their beautiful stories. Happy National Adoption Awareness Month!

“What does adoption mean to you?”

Adoption, to me, means the greatest gift of love that could ever be given or could ever be received. I have no other real way to describe what has been the most precious and selfless gift that my husband and I have ever gotten, twice.

Our children are a gift given by so many:

A birth mother, who chose a life for her children that would allow them endless opportunities that she knew she couldn’t provide, despite the endless heartache she knew she would endure.

A birth father, who may have never known that this gift would make all the difference to a couple longing to be parents, while changing his life forever, as well.

A country, that allowed two people from a different ethnic background and nation to raise a child one of its children in the hope that they would retain a piece of the child’s heritage.

A family, who opened their hearts and minds to welcome and love these new additions without hesitation or pause.

Friends, who prayed and prayed that the perfect union would take place between child and parents.

A couple, who knew that no greater love could exist than what they would have for their children.

The Lord, who miraculously connected two worlds and many hearts for a child.

As I write this I can only say that miracles do happen and they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, from all spectrums of the earth. Miracles are gifts…our children were our gifts…our gift to the universe is to love them as much as humanly possible so they will do the same for their children and mankind.

Karen, adoptive mother

“What does adoption mean to you?”

Adoption saved my life. Not in the literal sense, of course, but in the sense that, before adopting my son, I was not truly living. I was born to be someone’s mommy. I’ve always known that. I’ve always wanted that. I had always assumed motherhood would come through biology and I resisted adoption for nine years. I’d still be resisting if someone hadn’t almost literally put a newborn in my arms and said, “yours.” Before my son, I was a shell. I was going out, having fun, learning new things, and living a life, yes, but I was not complete. I can honestly say I am a complete person now. My son was meant to be mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To me….

Adoption means living a life I never expected, and loving every minute of it.

Adoption means appreciating my son for everything he is, including where he came from, every minute of every day.

Adoption means missing him when he sleeps.

Adoption means unconditional love has nothing to do with biology or pregnancy.

Adoption means that the “right” child for you is somewhere out there. Probably where you least expect him.

Adoption means the child meant for you may not be of you, but instantly a part of you.

Adoption means loving someone you’ve never met.

Adoption means leaving your heart wide open and accepting the vulnerability that comes with it.

Adoption means letting go.

Adoption means sharing the love you have for your child with a stranger.

Adoption means living your life in awe of the sacrifice someone else made for your happiness and the happiness of your child.

Adoption means waking every day with a feeling of gratitude.

Adoption means hope.

Adoption means working every day to be worthy of the gift you were given.

Adoption means I have a license to parent. Literally.

Adoption means hard questions are in my future, but I welcome them as a part of my son’s growth.

Adoption means understanding my son has his own story and it’s his to share when he’s ready. I’m just lucky to be a part of it.

Adoption means dealing with insensitive, rude, and often clueless comments and questions.

Adoption means knowing that parenthood is a gift and never a “right” or a duty.

Adoption means having to explain to people that I did not save my son from some horrible fate . . . on the contrary, he saved me!

Adoption means kisses, hugs, snuggles, and play time are more important than a clean house

Adoption means resisting the daily urge to dress your child in bubble wrap.

Adoption means risking everything to be a parent…and not giving it a second thought.

Adoption means saying, “YES” and jumping in with both feet…often before even testing the water.

Adoption means understanding that families are built, not bred.

Nicole, adoptive mother

“What does adoption mean to you?”

To me, adoption means that, out of love, a woman was able to put aside her own feelings to give her baby the life she felt he or she deserved. In turn, she has given me the chance to be a mom and made my dreams of having a family come true!

Trisha, adoptive mother

“What does adoption mean to you?”

Initially, adoption was a means for us to complete our family when having another biological child appeared to not be possible. But, it has become so much more to us. It has opened our eyes to another culture, widened the horizons of our family, enriched all of our lives, and brought us so much love and happiness. Our family is more than "complete" through adoption. It is "perfect." I cannot see our family any other way. Adoption has been such a special gift.

Julie, adoptive mother

“What does adoption mean to you?”

Prior to building my family through adoption in 2006, adoption to me meant sacrifice. Bittersweet connections once or twice a year, tiny glimpses of my son's life through someone else's eyes, a never ending image of my son as an infant I forced myself to let go of when I was 14.

In 2006, adoption took on a very different meaning. It had come to mean hope, a second chance for us to be parents and to give our "forever children" a second chance at a better life.

I now view it as an even greater blessing than it was before. Due to the ability to have an open adoption plan for my son, I now have a relationship with a wonderful grown man who calls me "Mama," and I am "Mommy" to four beautiful little girls.

Holly, birth mother and adoptive mother

“What does adoption mean to you?”

Adoption meant a second chance for me. Since I was older and was part of a sibling group when I was placed for adoption, I believe it was a small miracle that we were all adopted, and were all able to stay with at least some of our siblings.

Adoption was a second chance for me to experience a real family -- a family that specifically picked me to be a part of their family – and parents who loved me unconditionally. A family with parents who taught me and guided me along the way, who gave me a chance to just be a kid, who let me experience birthdays and holidays. A family with parents who made the choice to be my parents, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. I was blessed with parents who allowed contact with my other siblings, and I believe that contact was imperative to all of us. My siblings were also blessed to have a mother who facilitated contact, and who took not only my siblings in to her heart and home, but my brother and I.

After talking to members of our birth family, I am not sure that any of us would be here today had we not been adopted, given the history of abuse that we suffered at the hands of our birth parents.

So, yes, to me adoption was a second chance -- one that I am eternally grateful for.

Diana, adoptee

4 Comments

Adoption is a wonderful thing as it makes families and makes dreams come true! It is also a little sad in that there is a reason why a child is not able to be with his/her birth family. But in this sadness comes great joy! Families are born, not in the traditional sense, but in the hearts of the many people who have so much love to give, and ,who know that their family will be introduced to them through paths unknown, but charted with a sense of purpose and love. Adoption is love, love, love.

Adoption;
A - act of willingly accepting the gift of love from children
D- determination to make our families happen
O - often praying, keeping heart that we will be together
P - parenting with a plethora of love for our children
T - truth in believing that you will be brought together
I - inevitably that God will bring us to our perfect family
O - open-hearted to the wondrous possibilities
N - never forgetting your sense of wonder and love for our children

In order to be an adoptive parent, one must have an open heart, a strong spirit, a willingness to complete the journey, and have faith in believing that your family is meant to be. One must be able to endure the roller coaster ride, while enjoying the truth in knowing that you will be united with your children, and those children will always be a part of you, and will own a piece of your heart forever! The fact that these children are not born to us biologically, does not diminish that we love them with all of our hearts, or that they are not capable of loving us in the same manner. Rather, some of the greatest loves have come by way of adoption. Adoption is a lasting process of building, cherishing, and loving your family forever.

Adoption is the greatest gift of love bestowed to everybody involved. Adoption is FAMILY!!!! Adoption is a BLESSING from above!!! Adoption is LOVE!!!

By rima on Friday, November 18, 2011 at 9:07 pm.

Adoption means giving a child(ren) a chance to live life to the fullest - Allowing them to learn and understand what love really means - Showing them how to share, how to be happy, how to handle sadness, etc. - It is not always positive, it is sometimes the negative moments which puts you (the adoptive) parent to the test - Being their support at every step of the way - Realizing that I have an impact on making this child’s life different in a positive way - At the end of the day when you tuck them in at night and kiss their forehead - They smile back at you and say “I love you mommy” - Gives you a special peace in your heart knowing that our children is forever loved.

Latisha, Adoptive Mom

By porter10 on Saturday, November 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm.

Adoption means no more days of feeling lost and hopeless. Adoption means finally feeling complete and content. Adoption means having a love for a child that cannot be described. Adoption means joy as if it were tangible and you can wrap yourself in it. Adoption means my life will never be the same. Adoption is my happy place!

By steph6871@sbcglobal.net on Monday, November 21, 2011 at 9:22 pm.