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Adoption Blog: Two Brides, One Adoption Story

Inching Towards Adoption Finalization
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When I was trying to get pregnant, I was always waiting. Waiting to start a cycle, waiting to trigger my ovulation, for insemination, waiting to do a pregnancy test, waiting for the doctor to call with lab results. It was excruciating, and one of the things that I liked about getting off of the trying-to-conceive train (TtCT) train was the fact that I wouldn’t have to do any of that crap any more.

So then, I started the adoption process and I started another wait. Instead of waiting for my body to do something, I was often waiting on someone else’s. First and foremost was the paper wait. I spent a lot of time waiting for paper to be sent, filled out, filed, and approved.

Then, we got the call.

And now that we have our precious Baby Jay, I feel like I am running the last leg of a marathon. I am almost there, tired, and out of breathe, but I see the finish line.

Jay’s birth mom has until Friday to change her mind. After Friday, in the court’s mind, she has relinquished any of her rights to Baby Jay and we will be free to more towards adoption finalization.

This time, however, I have the baby, which makes the wait all the more difficult.

I know his smile, his smell, his likes and dislikes. I am no longer living in the realm of fantasy. This is real. Jay has become my son already. When I hold him in my arms, when I am burping him, it couldn’t be more real. I know his cries: hungry, gassy, and tired. It would be beyond devastating if Baby Jay’s birth mom were to call before Friday. Even though it hasn’t even been a month since I met him, I can’t even imagine my life without him.

I have been hoping that Friday will come and go and he will be ours. But as Friday nears, my thought also turn to his birth mom. What is she thinking? How is she feeling? Has she thought about picking up the phone? She has a way to call us and my e-mail; I gave them to her. She could call me or the agency at any time. Does she have regrets? Or is she is fiendishly trying to put the whole thing behind her and move on with her life?

I guess I will never know. But what I do know is that whatever she thinks and doesn’t think, I will forever be in her debt because she gave me a perfect gift; she gave me this moment. I am Jay’s mom. No matter what else happens, this is what I have been waiting for: The here and the now with my son.


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Eva

Eva



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