Debacle
Yep we’re a work-in-progress around here, Danielle. ...




My daughter, with her mass of Marilyn Monroe curls, fair skin, and big hazel eyes framed with super long lashes that Claire Danes could only dream about growing, looks nothing like my husband, Tony, or me. However, now that Beth, adopted domestically, is three, I can clearly see a family resemblance.
First of all, she sounds and gestures just like us. I'm fond of saying to her in a fake stern voice, "Beth!" to grab her attention, and then, "I- Love-You-So-Much." She's started to do it to me, catching me by surprise every so often, making me want to cry every time. Then there's the standard "Sure" (pronounced "shore") in answer to a number of basic questions, from, "Do you want to call Grandpa?" to "Did you pee on the couch?" (Each "Shore" is also a gentle reminder for me to work on re-losing my regional New York accent.) Of course, Beth says plenty of things using a non-regional accent that make me want to cringe, like, "Uhhhhh…my back hurts," as she hunches over, clutching her lower back, just like her dear, middle-aged dad.
Since Tony and I have performance backgrounds, most notably writing and performing sketch comedy in the mid-90s, we're very happy to see that our daughter was born with the "jokester" gene. The dominant "ham" trait can be seen on a daily basis -- Beth hammering out a tune on her Melissa & Doug piano, then bowing with grandiose flair as she says, "Thank you, thank you, thank you"; Beth dancing around the living room, arms rolling, tush shaking, hair flying, to "My Sharona"; Beth being highly dramatic when things don't go her way, as when she doesn't get bunny gummies to eat for breakfast.
Our charismatic and expressive girl also has a deep hearty laugh that she isn't afraid to use in the quietest of places. She's silly and funny and is developing a killer sense of comedic timing. So, while she doesn't resemble us one iota, funnily enough, she acts like us 100 percent, and this brings us great joy.
I suppose we all want to see ourselves in our children. Strangers certainly seem to want our mother-daughter connection to be apparent, but, alas, that will never be (not without the help of an excellent colorist to recreate Beth's blonde high- and lowlights and a plastic surgeon to give me the face of a supermodel), yet I am more than satisfied that she and I share a similar temperament.
At a recent family gathering, Beth, for some reason we will never know, decided to lick the back of one of her cousins. The crowd response was "Eww…," followed by a huge laugh. As she began to giggle, I said, "We don't lick people." She said, quite remorsefully, "OK. Shore," then gave her cousin a hug. And then, licked him again.
Ah, that's my girl.
How do your children resemble you? I would love to hear from you!
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5 Comments
I love your article. It certainly brought tears to my eyes. Beth sounds like a precious child. My beautiful Asian daughter Leah (adopted domestically) looks nothing like me with her shiny straight black hair and black eyes, but I see and hear myself in her all of the time. Isn’t adoption amazing?!
I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for your wonderful comment. ~ Barbara
Someone commented just the other day that my daughter must look exactly like her daddy becasue she looks nothing like me…..I just smiled. She looks nothing like either of us but the commonalities are sooooo amazing.
Ha! I know that smile!