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Adoption Blog: Two Brides, One Adoption Story

New Mom in Search of Balance



It's been about six months since I last wrote a blog post. In my last post, my wife, Nadia, and I had just finalized our adoption (Hurray!) of Baby Jay and I was getting ready to go back to work (Boo! Hiss!). Well, needless to say, working full time and being a mom has been very, very tough.

Here's my schedule:

5:30 a.m.: Wake up with Jay.

5:30 to 7 a.m.: Feed and play with Jay. Try to wake up.

7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m.: Nadia and I take turns watching Jay so that we can each get ready for work.

7:45 a.m.: Babysitter arrives.

8 a.m.: Leave for work.

8:30 a.m.: Arrive at work.

8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.: Work.

5 p.m.: Rush out the door.

5:30 p.m.: Arrive home.

5:30 to 6 p.m.: Play with Jay.

6 to 6:40 p.m.: Feed Jay dinner.

6:40 to 7:15 p.m.: More playtime.

7:15 p.m.: Bath time.

8 to 8:30 p.m.: Story time.

8:30 p.m.: Bedtime.

8:30 to 9:30 p.m.: Nadia and I cook dinner and eat.

9:30 p.m. to 10 p.m.: Relax and get ready for bed.

10 p.m.: Zzz!

5:30 a.m.: Get mentally prepared to start the whole day over again.

The weekends are spent playing catch up: laundry, grocery shopping, sleeping, spending time with Jay, trying to see friends and family.

Most of the time, Nadia and I are physically exhausted.

Just a few weeks ago, Jay started to sleep through the night, which has been great. I was hoping that he would be able to do that by his first birthday and it looks like I may get my wish—his first birthday is in two weeks.

Our first year with him has been a whirlwind of wonderful changes, but I would recommend to waiting parents out there that if you have the option to stay at home with the baby full time during that first year, take that opportunity. Jay's arrival was the most magical experience of my life; it made all of my dreams come true. Yet, at the same time, I have had a hard time finding the right balance. I can't seem to find time to perform the simplest tasks, such as returning phone calls or e-mails, catching up with friends, or even, sometimes, paying the bills. No, I am not being called by creditors, but I have always paid my bills on time—even early, I must admit—and now I find myself waking up in the middle of the night shouting and running to my checkbook to dash off a last-minute payment. I think the lack of sleep, combined with this extra (cute) responsibility and the demands of my job, has thrown me off my game.

Fortunately, I am beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel. When Jay sleeps well, Mama sleeps, allowing me to think more clearly and to plan more efficiently. I actually think that within the next couple of months I will be able to manage to pay my bills (in advance), catch up on all of my favorite blogs, and continue with my very nascent yoga practice. I think that yoga may help me to find balance—at least I am willing to give it a try.

As a busy parent, what strategies have you used to maintain balance in your life?


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4 Comments

Eva,

Thanks for the post. The first year was tough for me with each of my kids.  I found the lack of sleep to be a huge contributor .. I don’t think I even realized how much until I could look back, as I blogged a while back:

http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2010/05/power-of-sleep.html

It does get easier . .and I definitely found yoga helped me.  Good luck!!

E

By Ellenore Angelidis on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at 6:56 am.

Eva,
Love your post! It is as if I wrote it myself. My son is 17 months and my daughter is almost 6. Your schedule is like mine, only I go to bed with the kids!

Heather

By parforme12 on Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 8:48 pm.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason…everything gets easier when you get a full night of sleep.  I promise….although you’ll never sleep as well as you did before you had a child.

By kthlava on Thursday, June 16, 2011 at 3:34 am.

I hear you! You may be interested in reading my post about what happened when my wife lost her job and we inadvertently became a family in which one mom stays home and the other goes to work!
http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/27/chores-in-an-all-girl-household/

By MiddleAgedMama on Friday, June 24, 2011 at 6:42 pm.

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