The pain is unbearable when you have a failed adoption. In August 2014 we were in the delivery room when our baby girl was born.…...
Adoption Blog: The Yin and the Yang
Farewell to The Yin and the Yang
One year and nine months ago, I posted the first entry of The Yin and the Yang on AdoptiveFamiliesCircle. The post, titled "Best Laid Plans," introduced our family formed by birth and international adoption, as well as the idea that no matter how carefully you may plan a life, it gets filled with the unexpected.
Kathryn standing in the middle of the yin and yang symbol in China.
I never expected to adopt a child from China. I never expected to blog about it for nearly two years. I never expected how hard it would be to say goodbye.
Yin and yang is an ancient Chinese concept. In a simplified nutshell, yin and yang represent opposing energies—the black and the white, the dark and the light. The energies are in continual motion, yin to yang and yang to yin. Like life, nothing is all black or all white. The ideal is balance.
These past years, I have written about the heartbreaking and hopeful moments that come with the privilege of being an adoptive mom. I have read fellow bloggers, marveling at the courage and grace of those who have formed families, experienced loss, met birthparents, fielded questions, and loved children through the joys and challenges related to adoption.
It has been an honor to write about experiences that matter to me as an adoptive mom and to learn from the insights of those who have blogged and commented on AdoptiveFamiliesCircle. It's been a delight to share a kind of intimacy only available in this far-reaching world of the blogosphere.
Yet, yin and yang are ever moving. Once again, I find myself embracing the unexpected. A week ago, I began a master of fine arts program in creative writing at a scenic school in Vermont. Don't ask me how this happened. Surely I thought it up, filled out the extensive application, and accepted the admissions offer, but I still can't really explain.
Seven years ago, I was drawn into the adoption community. Now as I enter a community of writers, I am drawn by the same inexplicable sense of certitude, not knowing why I want this future, but knowing that it just feels right. Like everything, graduate school brings good and bad. I will spend the next two years writing, honing my craft, learning to teach. Yet, I will have to let go of things, such as blogging bimonthly for AdoptiveFamiliesCircle.
Our wonderful AFC editor has welcomed me to stop in and write a post now and then. I will gratefully do so, as time permits. I will definitely visit the site often to read the diverse and engaging voices of the bloggers steadily guiding us along the adoptive family road together.
For those of you who have read my posts, for those who smiled or cried or bristled and took the time to write a kind note or to set me straight, I deeply thank you.
I'll be posting occasionally on my personal blog. You are welcome to stop by and say hello. I hope some of you will keep in touch and all of you will find the perfect yin and yang balance in your lives—however they may be touched by adoption.
In Mandarin Chinese, zài means "again, once more, next in sequence." Jiàn means "to see, to meet, to appear to be something." Together, the two mean "goodbye."
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