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Adoption Blog: Improv Mom

Everyone Should Have a Betty
Filed Under: Domestic Adoption

Betty is my mom. She's five-foot nothing, has the energy of a rocket, and is always up for a challenge, such as de-cluttering my basement, shredding several years' worth of papers, or undertaking domestic adoption. I can tell you from experience that, once the decision has been made to move forward with any of these life-changing tasks, you can never underestimate the support you'll need. Enter Betty. And, in honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to share a taste of Betty being Betty:

  • After two pregnancies that ended badly and one round of IVF that produced two "grade one" embryos but little else, it came as no surprise to Betty that my husband, Tony, and I were looking into adoption. That's all Betty needed to hear before springing into action, calling her personal adoption network of one -- her good friend who had a good friend who had a daughter who recently adopted her children. Yet, this is exactly how Tony and I connected with our adoption attorney, and ultimately, with our daughter's biological mother.
  • It was late January, and our daughter's biological mother was scheduled for a mid-February C-section. Tony and I couldn't put it off any longer: We had to paint and set up a nursery. It felt like a monumental task -- what if there was no baby for the baby's room? What's more, I hate painting. Thankfully, Betty was on hand to push through our fears and get the job done, as well as keep a close watch over those of us who were also on hand to get the job done. I know my dad could never have set up the crib if it weren't for Betty's unflagging supervision.
  • When it came time to travel for the birth of our daughter, aside from Tony, I knew I wanted Betty by my side. It was a good move. My mom has a knack for normalizing the strangest of situations.
  • After Tony and I had physical custody of Beth, we were ecstatic, exhausted, and in shock. In our new role as parents, we relied on Betty to feed us. I remember her, with my dad in tow, coming back to the hotel suite we all shared, plates piled high with chicken and broccoli stir-fry they'd wrangled from the happy hour buffet. "They even gave us a tray!" she cried with delight.

So, you see, without Betty's almost maddeningly upbeat enthusiasm, I'd quite possibly still be living amongst my musty old boxes, cuddling up to a bag of old bills instead of my little girl. It was a longer, bumpier road to motherhood than I expected, but it all worked out – just like Betty said it would. Yes, Betty can drive me nuts, and, according to her, I can do the same to her. However, now that I have a daughter of my own, I am doing my very best to emulate my mom and be the Betty in Beth's life.

I love you, Betty! Happy Mother's Day!

Everyone should have a Betty, especially as you go through the adoption process! Who's the Betty in your life?

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Awesome post.  In our life it’s Ellen, my mother-in-law.  We love having our Ellen and many of our friends wish for an “Ellen” of there own.

By thefabfundys on Thursday, May 10, 2012 at 11:25 pm.

Where oh where would we be without the Bettys and Ellens! Thanks for sharing!

By Barbara Herel on Saturday, May 19, 2012 at 1:04 am.

lovely tribute

By carolrn on Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 4:56 am.

Thanks Carol! AND I just read some of your postings—what a story! It is amazing how one connection leads to another and another and suddenly (you know what I mean)a family has been created. Just beautiful.

By Barbara Herel on Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 3:50 pm.

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Barbara Herel

Barbara Herel

New York

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