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Adoption Blog: Adoption: Not Just My Profession, My Life

A Truly Memorable Hospital Experience
Filed Under: Domestic Adoption



As a prospective adoptive parent who has received “The Call” and is on the way to the hospital to meet a baby who may end up becoming a part of your family, flexibility is key! On our way to the hospital (only about three hours from our home) we were not sure how much time we would have with the baby. She needed to remain in the hospital for several more days, and so we were not sure whether we should find a hotel near the hospital or drive back home and return each day to visit. We knew we wouldn’t be able to meet her birth mother, as she chose our profile only after she’d already left the hospital. Other than that, we went into our hospital experience without any expectations of what it would look like.

Needless to say, we were blown away by our actual experience! After being escorted to our very own room in the maternity wing, where we were told we could stay for 24 hours a day for the duration of her hospital stay, we first met the beautiful little girl who is now our daughter. So, after snuggling with her for the rest of that day, we drove home to collect everything I would need to live at the hospital and then at the hotel while waiting for ICPC clearance. We have two other children, so my husband planned to travel down every other day until we could bring our daughter home.

I drove back to the hospital late that night, and when I entered the maternity wing just before midnight, I was shown the room where I would stay for the next few days. I was greeted with a giant balloon that said, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!” That was the moment when I first felt like the outside world was acknowledging me as a mother throughout this whole adoption process.

Over the next few days, the nursing staff was nothing short of amazing. They brought meals, watched the baby so I could shower, stopped in regularly to see if I needed anything, and even shared stories about the first few days of my daughter’s life so I didn’t miss anything! The doctor who delivered her wanted to personally meet me—she said that she wanted to meet both of the little girl’s mothers. And, before we were discharged, the hospital social worker even had the director of the hospital call the hotel I had booked to upgrade our accommodations.

In short, the hospital staff became like extended family for that first week. In the days between her birth mother’s discharge and our arrival at the hospital, they cared for my daughter with love. When I was alone in the middle of the night and she couldn’t be settled, they were there to help in the absence of my husband. I cannot express how grateful I am for how special they made our hospital experience.


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3 Comments

What a wonderful post!  It sounds as if the hospital staff truly understand adoption and the child’s needs that go beyond the medical.

I am sad to hear that the birthmother left the hospital before she could meet you.  I hope that the hospital staff understood adoption well enough to treat her as well as they treated you. Unfortunately, some hospital staff do not treat a woman making an adoption plan with a great deal of compassion, though it sounds as if the obstetrician “got” the fact that the child had two women who both deserved to be considered mothers.

Even if neither the birthmother nor you plan to have an open adoption, you might want to tell the social worker that you will be willing to send the agency some non-identifying pictures and a letter occasionally, in case the birthmother reaches a point where she wants to know how the child she bore is doing.

My congratulations to you, your husband, and your other children on your adoption.

Sharon

By sak9645 on Wednesday, June 15, 2016 at 4:57 pm.

Sharon, Thank you so much for your comment. Actually since a little time has passed, we are now in a very open adoption, which is what our initial desire truly was, and have had several visits, share photos and videos weekly as well as exchanging phone numbers and addresses.

The hospital did indeed treat our daughter’s birthmother very well also which I was so glad to hear. They were there for her through all the pain and tears as well as her social worker. They were very respectful to her. I agree that there are still many hospitals out there with staff who don’t totally “get” adoption and aren’t as friendly to expecting parents considering adoption. Our agency actually works hard to conduct trainings for hospitals and staff to help them better understand adoption and how it is so different that it was in years past. It is wonderful when there are hospital who are so compassionate and understanding of the sensitive nature of the whole adoption process, no matter what decision the expecting parents make in the end.

Thank you again for your wonderful comment. We’d love for you to continue following our journey through the blog.

By Kristy Hartley-Galbraith on Thursday, June 16, 2016 at 8:25 am.

It’s wonderful to know that the hospital was very attentive in providing all kinds of services, from child care to providing all nursing assistance. Also, glad to hear that the birth mother was treated very humanely and with respect. It’s very sad when hospital staff members don’t give proper assistance to a birth mother or treat her respectfully. http://bit.ly/2q8IGhE

By Adopthelp on Tuesday, May 16, 2017 at 2:45 am.

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Meet the Author

Kristy Hartley-Galbraith

Kristy Hartley-Galbraith

Pennsylvania

I have recently adopted or am adopting from...
U.S. Newborn, U.S. Newborn

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