This is unbelievable friends Hello. It’s me again Jenifer I am 44 years woman I delivered twin girls some days ago.God saw me through the…...
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Adoption Blog: Melting Pot Family
Adoption Versus Kid Thing
I feel like I have an unfair advantage for this question with both biological and adopted children. I attended all the classes offered and read all the recommended materials, as well as ones I found on my own, to prepare for any special needs my adopted daughter might have. I knew her early childhood experiences, about which we would never know the full details, would leave a lasting imprint. However, having two biological sons, I also knew that childhood is childhood, and any two children will share many of the same challenges and touchpoints.
We recently relocated to Europe. My daughter hadn't had night terrors for some years, but, when we moved, she began waking up for no apparent reason in distress. We were faced with the question: Is it an adoption thing or a kid thing? I will never know for sure. And I tend to over index on the adoption answer in ambiguous situations.
I was concerned that this transition to a new home and school was bringing back hidden memories of other transitions that might not have been positive. We kept her bedroom door open at night; we left a light on in the bathroom and in the backyard. Our boys refer to it as a Narnia light since it is a solo lamppost in the middle of the yard, which does look like it should take you to another world. We also read her extra bedtime stories and let the family pup sleep with her.
I explained my concerns to my eldest, who is a high school sophomore. He is very connected to his little sister, as seen in the photo of the two of them playing pat-a-cake. He patiently listened to my explanation of how memories from early years can be hidden and triggered by seemingly unrelated events. He looked at me with a look I get too often these days; it appears to be a mixture of pity and amusement. He said, “I remember having night terrors, too. Couldn’t hers be just like mine? Why does it have to be related to her being adopted?”
I find this son, in his very direct manner, often gives me good food for thought. I don’t know if he is correct. But since both he and his younger brother also had these childhood nightmares, I know it might just be a kid thing, and that is comforting. And, fortunately, my daughter's night terrors only made a brief reappearance. But all the rituals we put in place to make her feel more comfortable seem to be here to stay.
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