Hi,
I’m currently adopting a baby boy from foster care,he was delivered to me at 9days old and is now 8mnths old. He has two siblings being adopted by another couple which we stay in touch with weekly. The circumstances under which the children are in care is appaling however not as severe as some stories I have heard. Adopting from the foster system is not a stress free process by no stretch of the imagination but I know private adoption has stress too. I originally thought toddler was the right fit for me however my little one had other plans. When I received the call I knew it was right. I only have him but do plan on adopting additional children. As far as what is acceptable for your family, as harsh as it may sound, you have the choice regarding age, race, medical condition, abuse, etc. There are many families which are equiped to address the needs of the more severe cases. Through this process the most important lesson I learned is to know your limitations.

Best of luck to you and your family! It has been a wonderful experience for me and I plan on a 2nd adoption in the near future.

Dear Mamaof2browngirls. I acknowledge you for your commitment to children and your honesty. You have concerns and that shows that this is not a whim casually considered but rather is an intention which you are assessing.
  In a perfect world, love would be enough to heal traumatized children. The reality is, however, that love is essential along with many other skills and a wide net of resources to bolster the family as they journey to healing.
  Adoption is a life-long commitment which you’re making not only for yourself but also for your entire family. Prepare yourself with a comprehensive knowledge of parenting skills designed especially for kids who have experienced trauma. This would include techniques like “Time In” vs. “Time Out.”

Our three children are all from “the system” and the process can be long and heartbreaking, as it can with any adoption. In our county families can’t have a foster child older then their youngest child. This maintains birth order and allows your children to be “protected” from an older child who may have abused or mistreated. I understand your need to save these children we hear about and if now is not the best time for you to foster perhaps you can become a mentor or court advocate.

I’m a mother of two children adopted as newborns from the foster care system, as well as two biological children.  I don’t know that it will help for sure, but you can check out our journey blogged here:http://thesaulfam.blogspot.com/

There is a great deal to be said for knowing one’s limitations. Remember, as much as you want to help those kids you see on the news it is NO help to them to be placed with a family that will be pushed past breaking in trying to care for them! And who knows - perhaps that child would be placed in a better/more appropriate situation if you stay out of it? God has a plan, you don’t have to save every single one.