Celebrating Mother’s Day as an Adoptive Grandmother on Our One-Year Adoption Anniversary

Posted by Anne @ AdoptiveFamiliesCircle to Adoptive Families 2 years, 1 month ago | 1 Comment | Post a reply

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A year has passed since we picked up my newly adopted grandson and his parents, my stepdaughter and her husband, at the airport after their flight home from Russia. Joseph, my first grandson, arrived into our lives, a small, quiet but curious 17-month-old.

Although as a stepparent I knew I had the ability to fully embrace and love family members not related to me, my husband and I were skeptical when my stepdaughter and her husband first began to discuss adoption and expressed their own doubts and fears going forward with the decision. Perhaps it was because this was our family's first exposure to adoption? But as we watched them embark on this long and hard journey to create a family we began to hope that their dreams would be fulfilled. When the first photo from Russia arrived by e-mail, we were immediately in love with little Joseph and got swept up in the preparing-for-baby whirlwind of planning.

Our lives have all changed this last year because of little Joseph. I had no idea what my role as a grandmother would be—because of divorce and remarriage, Joseph has three sets of grandparents. But I am proud to say that I am the go-to grandma. I get the daily updates from my stepdaughter, see the three of them weekly, am one of the first to be asked to babysit, am the only one who cuts Joseph’s hair, and am the mom adviser for all the first-time mom's questions. I am the first of the grandparents who Joseph called by name—granted “Annie” is easy for a baby to say, but I know it is also the result of the bond this little guy and I already share. Joseph joy definitely overtook me almost as immediately as the joy of parenting swept me off my feet from the first nuzzle. How could I not experience Joseph joy when he squeals with glee upon seeing me at the door, when he comes to me and requests “bath,” when sometimes only I can talk him out of his stubborn 2-year-old episodes, and when he brings his toys to me for pretend play? 

I have entered a wonderful and special phase of life reserved for grandparents. Although not always proof perfect, grandparents are often beloved—maybe because by the time you get a grandchild, your parenting skills are better honed and you’ve grown more patient, wise, and understanding with age. Whatever the reason, I look at the upcoming Mother’s Day differently than ever before. In lineage, I may be the grandmother twice removed, but Joseph knows I am his Annie grandma and we already have that close grandma/grandson bond—he is confident that I am there for him, and I am not able to remember what it was like without the joy of this little guy who I get to grandmother for life. 

Happy Mother's Day to all parents, grandparents, and hopeful parents and grandparents.

Guest blog written by Anne Mazza, the advertising director of Adoptive Families magazine and AdoptiveFamiliesCircle.com.

Related Link: Winning Over the Grandparents-to-Be

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