The Power of Viewing Photos of Adoptive Families

While the reassuring words of adoptive families and calming information provided in adoption education materials can help address the concerns of hesitant prospective parents or loved ones, I recently realized—while clicking through hundreds of photographs of happy, well-adjusted adoptive families submitted to AdoptiveFamiliesCircle's "2011 Hugs and Kisses" photo contest—a picture is worth a thousand words.  

Uploaded by Aung Family to 2011 Hugs and Kisses Photo Contest

"Is it hard to have a child who doesn't look like you?" "Do your children get along with each other even though they aren't biologically connected?" "Did your family have a hard time accepting a child who was adopted?" "Do you truly love your adopted child?" These are just some of the questions I've fielded from prospective adoptive parents over the years as an active adoption advocate. While they might seem intrusive, as a former hopeful parent and a current proud adoptive mom to three children, I can relate. I had many of the same worries.

I usually answer such questions by talking about my own kids—gushing about how beautiful they are, how smart and clever they are, or how I can't imagine my life without them—hoping the love I have for my children will pour out through my words and set any anxious potential adopters' minds and hearts at ease.

There are limitations, however; why should they take my word for it? Given their state of uncertainty, they may doubt what I am saying and think, Well, she's just saying what I want to hear.

While words and body language can be misinterpreted, it's much more difficult to interpret a photograph. When you see a snapshot of a mom and her son gazing at each other with love in their eyes, you can't doubt that they have an intense connection. When you see two young sisters laughing and hugging, you can't doubt that they enjoy each other's company. When you see hundreds of photos like these, it's even more powerful.

Not long ago, I had the pleasure of looking through all of the photographs submitted to AFC's "2011 Hugs and Kisses" photo contest. As part of my job as the AFC Community Moderator, I was asked to narrow down the hundreds of entries to the few that I deemed the best of the best (as you can imagine, that was pretty difficult!). In the beginning, I took to looking at the photographs as if it were any other work-related task. Yet, within minutes, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the photographs and admired each and every one at length. I immediately thought that prospective adoptive parents should view photos like these.

There were pictures of parents holding their children for the first time, grandparents snuggling with their grandchildren, cousins relaxing in the grass, older siblings meeting their new little brother or sister at the airport, and children receiving hugs from teachers or neighbors. I can't remember the last time I smiled as much for as long a time as when I viewed this collection of photographs. With every snapshot, the love each family member had for each other could easily be felt.

Not sure if you can bond with a child who looks nothing like you? Look at all of the pictures of a parent of one race or ethnicity holding, snuggling, and loving on their children of another race or ethnicity. Not sure if your biological child will accept a child through adoption? Look at the pictures of the siblings from blended families who are obviously enamored with one another. Not sure if your father could ever love a child you did not give birth to? Look at the way the toddlers are looking up at their grandpas, who in turn are looking back at them, with happiness. These photographs say more than any one person could.

If you or another prospective adoptive parent is, or has a relative who is, hesitant about growing the family through adoption, I suggest taking a look at these “Hugs and Kisses” photographs. I know there are books written for the friends and families of prospective adoptive parents that explain adoption. But wouldn't it be a lot more fun (and perhaps more persuasive) to sit down together in front of a computer and page through the “Hugs and Kisses” album? Maybe afterward, you'll be able to submit your own family photos in the 2012 contest!

Thanks to all of you who submitted your photos for this year's contest. Viewing your beautiful and loving families has been inspiring. I hope they will touch others, too.

 
Uploaded by SharonR to 2011 Hugs and Kisses Photo Contest

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• Talking About My Daughter’s Birth Story
• 6 Adoption Questions from Hopeful Adoptive Parents
• Love Makes a Family