Thanks for sharing article ....i have read many blogs on open adoption and found that people are not much happy with open adoption. ...
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Adoption Blog: Improv Mom
Family Reunion With Biological Mom, Part I
My husband, Tony; our daughter, Beth; and I are on our way to catch our flight at Newark for our first family reunion with our daughter’s biological mother, Kim. However, right now, I’m more excited by the news that you can actually rent a car equipped with a toddler car seat than anything else. We’ll need one when we arrive in Indiana, where our daughter’s birthmother lives. I spoke to Kim on the phone roughly a month ago about our plans, and she sounded super excited about seeing Beth, as well as Tony and me. "Great," I said equally enthusiastic. "I'm booking our flight today!" And so I did. But since then, Kim hasn’t returned any of my phone calls or e-mails.
My mind drifts back to our correspondence over these past two years. When did it begin to wane? I wondered not long before we left for our trip. A quick check of our e-mail exchange confirms that contact on Kim’s end completely drops off from November 2009 until October 2010. There were a few brief phone calls here and there during that time, but I never caught her at a good time to talk.
I know things had been difficult for her. Her boyfriend, Beth’s biological dad, left her months after she gave birth to Beth. Plus, Kim moved back in with her mother, who, according to Kim, wasn’t very supportive of her decision to make an adoption plan for Beth.
In that last October e-mail, Kim wrote, "I think of you three every single day, and yes, I cry a lot thinking about her." Could it be that the thought of seeing Beth and then letting her go once again was just too much for her to bear? Has she changed her mind about seeing us? As a mother, I could all too easily imagine Kim’s despair.
As Tony maneuvers the car toward the airport exit, my cell phone rings. At long last, it’s Kim! She apologizes that she hasn't called sooner. She thought she sent me a text, but turns out she saved it in her drafts instead. Naturally, our phone call begins breaking up when she says, "There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell y—static static—the baby!"
"Wait! What?!" I ask, my mind racing.
A baby? Another baby? A baby she wants us to adopt? I always thought having one child was perfectly perfect, and Tony, 49, prefers not being in adult diapers when his kids graduate from college. The only way we could see adding to our family would be if Kim found herself in a position where she couldn’t raise another baby and wanted us to parent. But as quickly as the new baby scenario ran through my mind, the phone connection and the "Where are we going to put another baby?" concern cleared up.
“I had a baby, a boy,” shares Kim. “His name is Robbie and he’s seven months old. Hopefully, you’ll also get to meet Eddie." (Kim’s boyfriend and the baby’s father.)
A new man and a new baby certainly explains a lot. I hang up the phone feeling dazed and remark to Tony, "It seems our long weekend plans just got a bit more interesting."
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Barbara HerelNew York
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