Making My Profession Personal

I’m excited to be joining the ranks of the AdoptiveFamiliesCircle bloggers, as I regularly read the blogs and gain so much valuable insight from all the different perspectives. I wanted my first post to give you an idea of who I am and where we are in the adoption process. Welcome aboard my ride!

Basic Background
My name is Kristy, and I have been working in the adoption field as a marketing professional at a non-profit adoption agency for over 10 years now. My husband and I have two boys, ages four and two-and-a-half. At the end of October, we officially took the first step on our adoption journey by submitting our application. I’ll be sharing my journey into adoptive parenthood through this blog.

Why Adoption?
I have known since I was pretty young that adoption was something I was interested in doing when I was older. I had several aunts who fostered to adopt and a family friend who adopted an older sibling group. When those kids grew up, that same friend adopted three other children over the course of several years through domestic infant adoption. To me, adoption had always seemed to be just another way families were created.

Since becoming immersed in the field on a professional level, both of my sisters have adopted and I am now an aunt to my niece from Ethiopia and my nephew adopted from foster care. Although each of our paths to adoption has been unique, it has created a bond that will connect our families and children together forever. 

What Makes Our Journey Unique?
I think that having 10 years under my belt as an adoption professional provides unique insight as a hopeful adoptive parent. I certainly don’t mean insight that gets us to the head of the class (as we are following the same step-by-step process that all other hopeful adoptive parents follow), but insight into how the other members of the adoption triad experience adoption. Adoption is and will always be bittersweet. No one in this situation gains without someone else experiencing a loss. It’s not to say that the loss is a direct result of the other person. For example, a pregnant woman doesn’t decide to place because a family wants a baby. Although they don’t directly correlate, the losses and gains go hand in hand and need to be appreciated and understood to fully grasp the bigger picture. 

Where We Are in the Process
When my husband and I met, family was one of the first big topics we explored and discussed. I shared my hopes to one day adopt, and he was on board with the plan from the start. After five years of marriage, we were ready to grow our family, and had our two boys 16 months apart. When our youngest turned two, our discussions about adopting became more serious. We took the plunge four months ago and submitted our application. We had our last meeting with our agency in early February and, on Valentine’s Day, we filmed our video to go along with our profile. We are now in the last part of the process that we can control—creating our profile and submitting it to our agency. We plan on going “in the books” in the next two weeks…and then our official wait will begin.

Biggest Fear & Greatest Hope
Our biggest hope is to be placed in a situation where the child’s birth family is as committed to being in an open adoption as we are, and that feels like a good fit for all of us. Our biggest fear is the opposite of that—that we will be selected for a situation in which no one, birth parents or birth grandparents, wants any contact. The truth is, we know in our hearts that it will happen when it is right. We open our arms to embrace whatever the journey may be, with all the ups and downs, turns and loops!

One Thing I Want Others to Know
Even with more than 10 years as an adoption professional, being on this side of the adoption process is quite different. Halfway through our first meeting with our social worker, she playfully chuckled. When I asked her why she was laughing, she said, “You are asking the exact same questions I hear from all of my other prospective adoptive clients.” I got that same chuckle, only quite a bit louder this time, when I asked if I should clean out my basement, which serves as our storage area, before our home study visit. For her, seeing me in this other role was so different from seeing me in my professional role behind the desk in the marketing department.

I would say that I know quite a bit about adoption. I would never say that I’m an “expert,” and I never believe that anyone should speak for the adoption community as a whole, because each and every experience and perspective is unique. I will say that I’m an expert on my own journey. My opinions, my emotions, my struggles, my joy, my words…those are what I will be sharing with you through my blog. I’m looking forward to writing about all the ups and the downs along the way.

Related Posts on AdoptiveFamiliesCircle

• Reflections on My Daughter’s Second Birthday
• Interview with Lucky Bastard Filmmaker and Adoptee, Elijah Thomas
• Listen to Your Mother