Looking Back: Receiving the Referral for Our Daughter from China
Halfway through the estimated waiting period, we receive a referral for the daughter we hope to adopt from China.
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Recent Blog Posts
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Looking Back: The International Adoption Journey Begins
Thinking of all the waiting families today, I reminisce about the hopeful beginning of our family's journey through the international adoption process.
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A Baby Step in a Birthparent Search
After deliberating a while, I initiate a birth parent search analysis to find out if a trail to our daughter's first family even exists and whether a search for them might have any probability of success.
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To Find the Birth Parents, or Not
After receiving an e-mail about doing a birthparent search in the Chinese province where my daughter was born, I wonder, should I? Is this my choice to make, or hers?
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Roads Never End: An Adopted Child’s Thoughts Lead Back to Her First Mother
On the ride home from kindergarten, my adopted daughter asks about finding her "real mom." So begins a conversation about what she is missing and what she seeks to find.
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Behind the Normalcy, Every Family Has a Story—International Adoption Makes Ours More Visible
While out camping, I am reminded we are not like other families, and I see how our differences connect us to others in meaningful ways.
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Beautiful Exchange: When Adoptive Parents Meet, We Share More than Words
When a stranger asks which province my daughter is from, I suspect we're about to have one of those beautiful conversations that often happen between adoptive parents.
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What Adopted Means
One day, out of the blue, my kindergarten-age daughter wants to know what the word adopted means.
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What’s True and Not
In an adoptive family, we all have adoption issues, but our Chinese daughter faces her own challenges in an American home.
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Double Bind
As an adoptive parent, I sometimes wonder if I am dealing with adoption-related issues in need of extra care, or simply kid things.
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Wishes in the Night
On the eve of our adopted daughter's birthday, we send wishes to her birthmother in China.
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A Question of Love
When people ask if I love my adopted daughter like my own, the answer is never simple.
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Seeking the Spirit
Not wanting to rush headlong into yet one more holiday season with that out-of-sorts feeling, I decide to try something different this year.
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Getting It
For the past five years, I've been trying to come up with a better name than 'Gotcha Day' -- one that encompasses the sacred joy for us, while honoring the loss that underlies the day.
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A Quiet Ache
A stirring movie about real birth parents in China awakens a quiet ache in me to make sense of something I may never be able to understand.
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The Family Tree
"Family Tree" assignments can be upsetting for some adopted children -- and their parents. Here's how Hanna constructed her branches.
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Priceless
Innocent conversations can run deep without warning. Buy her? Is that what she thinks? This can't be good.
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Matter of Trust
The ticking gets louder: Am I failing my daughter?
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Tummy Mommy
"I do not know if we can find your mommy, but when you are ready, I'll take you to China."
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Best Laid Plans
Since our family traveled across the skies in 2004, and brought home a pouty-lipped baby girl named Fu Dong Zhi, none of us has fit easily into categories.
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